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WHo are you?
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Joke – What Do I Look Like?
What Do I Look Like?
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?”
The husband just looked at his wife and said, “What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?”
A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, “Honey, the car won’t start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?”
“What do I look like, Mr.Goodwrench?” was his response. Another couple of weeks go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the roof. She pleads with him as he’s walking through the door. “Honey, there’s a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?”
He just looked at her and said “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” and sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV.
One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone! Speaking of leaks, he also went to take a shower, and he found that the one pipe behind the sink wasn’t leaking anymore either.
His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, “Honey, how come there aren’t any more leaks, and the car’s running?”
She replied nonchalantly, “Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything.” “Wow, did he charge us anything?” asked the husband. “No, he just said that he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him” she said.
“Cool. What kind of cake did you make?” asked the husband. “Cake? What the hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker?
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Online Poker Scam
Well, I guess this conferms what I have always thought. No wonder why I have lost so much money playing poker on line. Here is a snippet of the story about how online poker is fixed.
“We acknowledge a significant internal security breach whereby a resource who was infinitely knowledgeable about the system was able to get into the accounts in question. He played on those accounts and he saw hole cards,” the spokesman said.
“We have closed that security breach and we have identified a very serious issue internally as far as communications flow and we’re resolving that, ” he said.
Complet story here: Online Poker Scam
Here is a little anonymous hint for you guys,” Online poker is fixed, remember that if theer is a way to fix it, it is being fixed!”
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Front Page Fake Headlines
Some one sent me this email about this cool website.
What you do is place the victims name in the space provided and then it generates a fake news headline. Pretty creative. Check it out , I already used it! The url is: http://www.frontpage-news.com
This website is a fake news website, made to fool your friends, colleagues, enemies etc… to let them believe their name is on the headpage of the newspaper. Just fill in the data of the person you want to fool and this site makes an automatic link to a fake newsarticle of your choice. You can also make your own personalised article and insert a picture of the person you want to fool. So what to do now? Just fill in the data, copy the link and e-mail the link to all your friends! They should believe that the article is 100% true because it looks very real! Have Fun!
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Jordan R Kreul – Hey man- you arent related to this girl are you? ha ha just kidding
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Vatican Gay Priest Sex Sting!
Here is another story I guess the Roman Catholic Church could do with out. Here is just a little snippet of the article, but you can guess the rest.
It’s another story the Vatican could have done without. A high-ranking church official in Rome is caught by a hidden camera making what appear to be advances to another man. The scenes, in which the priest questions the Roman Catholic church’s teaching on homosexuality, are then broadcast on Italian television.
That’s the position the Vatican, still trying to deal with the long-running fallout from pedophile priests, finds itself in after the official, Monsignor Tommaso Stenico—who has responsibility for matters relating to the clergy—was filmed during an encounter with a youth he was reported to have met on a gay Internet chat room.
The priest invited the young man to his office after work hours and, during the course of their conversation on homosexuality, started complimenting the youth on his appearance. The young man told the priest he was “about to commit something with me that is a sin in the eyes of God.” Stenico, 60, replied: “No, I don’t consider it a sin.” When the youth questioned how the priest could ignore the church’s teaching that homosexual acts are sinful, the priest cut short the meeting and showed him the door—but not before placing his hand on the back of his leg and saying, “You’re so hot.” The priest asked his guest not to talk with anyone on the way out.
Ok, here is a anonymous hint for the vatican, “Hey guys, you have a problems with your staff, most of them are gay and worse, they like little boys. I have a solution for you, make a rule that anyone that wants to be a priest has to be married first. Problem solved. Dope!”
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Britney Spears Denied Visitation Rights To Her Own Kids!
I was just reading this story about Britney Spears. This dope really has some issues. Britney Spears may not visit her two young children until she complies with a court order.
“Petitioner’s (Spears’) visitation with the minor children is suspended pending the petitioner’s compliance with the court orders,” Superior Court Commissioner Scott Gordon wrote in an order dated Wednesday.
The ruling followed an emergency hearing, the latest in a custody battle between Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline over their sons, 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James.
Among other things, Gordon has ordered her to undergo random weekly drug testing after he found there was evidence that Spears engaged in “habitual, frequent and continuous use of controlled substances and alcohol.”
Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ok, so the Judge orders her to undergo random drug testing before she is able to visit her own kids. Here is a little anonymous hint for Britney, ” You are a friggin mess, you better straighten your act out or you will find yourself six feet under….DOPE!”
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The Most Painful Part Sex Change Joke
A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game they ask her, “How is it that you know so much about baseball?” She says, “Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change.” The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process.
“What was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut IT off?”
“That was very painful, but was not the most painful part.”
“Was it when they cut off your balls?”
“That was very painful, but was not the most painful part.”
“What was the most painful part?”
“The part that hurt the most was when they cut my salary in half!”
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Tara Reid Calls Paris Hilton Stupid?!
Ok, is it just me or is this just stupid? It seems Tara Reid while trying to explain why she has been out of the spotlight, unlike Paris and the other idiots in Hollywood, for their partying behavior, had this to say.
Professional party-girl Tara Reid’s been around the block few (hundred) times, dated Carson Daly, “accidentally” exposed a breast at Diddy’s party and what not. But as she bragged to FHM, she’s never been to jail.
“I had fun, but in America it’s bad to have fun, and you get punished for it,” she said in a recent interview with the magazine. “But now there are girls in America like Paris [Hilton] and I start thinking, wait, what made me a bad girl? I’ve never been arrested.”
Slide show
The week in celebrity sightings
Jack puckers up, Britney makes a coffee run, Bono goes to the Hill and more.
In fact, Tara considers her social life tame compared to the current crop of club hoppin’ starlets. “I like to have fun and have people around me,” she said. “I think the reason I never ended up in as much trouble as Paris or Lindsay [Lohan] is that I’m not stupid, so I’d never do a lot of the things those girls do, and I’ve always had good friends around me.”
Well Tara, I have a little hint for you about why you are not in the spotlight, ready, here it goes, “NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU!”. You dope!
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Tara Reid » Tara Reid Calls Paris Hilton Stupid?! – [...] Read the rest of this great post here [...]
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Kristy Gray – I’ve been watching Paris Hilton’s BFF. Where do they come across these people? They are from another planet!
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Herman Drumgo – Paris Hilton is my favorite celebrity luv ya xxx
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Just Relax – Joke
A man was on his death bed. His wife was stroking his hand lovingly and speaking gentle words to him for the last time.”I gotta tell you something honey” said the man very weakly.
“No sweetie, it’s all right, relax” replied the woman.
The man took a deep breath and said, “I have to say that I cheated on you with your sister, your mother and your aunt!!”
The wife cooed, “Sssshhhh, I know, just relax and let the poison do its job.”
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Anthony Bourdain Slams Rachel Ray
So this is what Anthony Bourdain, the host of no reservations has to say about Rachel Ray. Gastronomical blowhard Anthony Bourdain took off the oven mitts and voiced his disdain for Dunkin’ Donuts shill Rachael Ray. In a recent interview with Outside magazine, the “Kitchen Confidential” chef spewed harsh words about the foodie superstar and her choice to plug the fried-dough-selling food chain.
“She’s got a magazine, a TV empire, all these best-selling books — I’m guessing she’s not hurting for money,” Anthony ranted re: Rachael in a portion of the interview republished in the New York Post’s Page Six. “She’s hugely influential, particularly with children. And she’s endorsing Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s like endorsing crack for kids.”
The crotchety cook made it clear he’s not coming from some moral high ground. “I’m not a very ethical guy,” Anthony said. “I don’t have a lot of principles. But somehow that seems to me over the line. Juvenile diabetes has exploded. Half of Americans don’t have necks. And (Rachael’s) up there saying, ‘Eat some [bleeping] Dunkin’ Donuts. You look great in that swimsuit — eat another doughnut!’ That’s evil.”
You can read teh whole article here:
Well Anthony, it seems the american peopel aren’t the only ones missing necks, Rachel seems to have lost hers too. That chubby little monkey!
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evelgal – Chubby lil’ monkey !! hahahahaha…
Online Poker » Online Poker Scam – [...] unknown wrote an interesting post today on Online Poker ScamHere’s a quick excerptNo wonder why I have lost so much money playing poker on line. Here is a snippet of the story about how online poker is fixed. “We acknowledge a significant internal security breach whereby a resource who was infinitely knowledgeable … [...]