A sailor comes to port after 6 months at sea and goes to the nearest whorehouse. He asks the bartender for a woman.
The bartender says, he’s sorry, all the girls are taken. The only girl they have left is sandpaper Sally and you don’t want her.
The sailor says, “Listen, I’ve been away so long, I’ll take anything! I don’t care how ugly she is!”
So the bartender sends the sailor upstairs and tells him to wait.
A few minutes later the most beautiful woman walks into the room. Shiny dark hair, Huge firm breasts and an amazing ass. He can’t believe his eyes. Why would the bartender say he wouldn’t want her. He lays her down on the bed and begins to make love to her.
As soon as he begins he has to stop saying it feels like there is sandpaper in there scraping him.
Sally gets up and says, “wait a minute , I’ll be right back.”
A few seconds later she returns and the sailor begins again. This time it feels as smooth as silk and feels so amazing.
After the sailor finishes himself off he lays next to Sally and asks,” So, what did you do? Before it felt so horrible like it was going to rip my penis apart and then you came back and
it was the most amazing sex I have ever had?”
And Sally replies,”Oh, Nothing! I just went into the bathroom and picked off all the scabs!”

Every day two blonde women would come out of work together and look for their car. But all the cars in the lot looked the same, so they sat around until all the cars were gone and then they would get in the last car and go home. One blonde said to the other, ”We need to find a faster way to get home.” So the next day they went to work on a camel. After work they came out and the parking lot was full of camels. So the first blonde went around lifting up the tails of all the camels. The second blonde said, ”What are you doing?” The first blonde said, ”When we came in today I heard someone yell “‘Look at those two assholes on that camel!!’”